Practical Advice

When it comes to practical parenting advice, parents always ask: “How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?”

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix solution. The parts of the brain that control day-night sleep, and circadian rhythm, don’t start to develop until 9 weeks at the earliest. In the meantime, babies have a 50-60 minute sleep cycle, which consists of 25 minutes of active sleep, 20 minutes of quiet sleep, and a 10 minute transitional period.

Between 9 and 15 weeks, babies start producing nighttime melatonin, and may sleep for 5 hours at a time. But studies show that 20-30% of all babies still experience night awakenings until they are 2 years old. It isn't until the age of 5 that most kids start to sleep consistently at night. Until then, parents just need to be patient, and learn to operate on limited amounts of sleep.

Before starting potty training, look for signs that your child is ready, such as showing interest in the toilet, expressing discomfort with dirty diapers, or having longer periods of dryness. Starting the process when your child is ready increases the chances of success.

Some parents will use a child-led approach to potty training. This involves allowing the child to express when they want to use the potty, and respecting those choices. Other parents prefer a parent-led approach, where they take their child to the potty at regular intervals, especially after meals, or when they show signs of needing to go.

Be patient and understanding during the potty training process. Potty training is rarely linear, and setbacks will often occur. It's essential not to scold or shame your child when an accident happens. Instead, a parent should calmly clean up the mess, and reassure the child that it's okay.

During all this, parenst should also say good-bye to bathroom privacy. Children learn best from watching their parents on the toilet.

Good health for kids means a balanced diet, but that is easier said than done when faced with a defiant toddler. A simple way to encourage healthy eating is to stop all the health talk, and instead make eating fun. Use the 'eat the rainbow' approach to food as a way to encourage your child to create a colorful plate. This allows a parent to incorporate a mix of healthy foods, as opposed to pitting types of food against another.

Teeth-brushing is another health requirement that plagues parents. The easiest way to encourage this habit is to model good teeth hygiene , and include children in the process as early as possible. If that doesn’t work, try a brushing chart or play some music and have a teeth-brushing dance party.

Modeling is one of the most powerful parenting practices, so the way you approach health will impact your child’s views. Health and happiness go hand-in-hand, and although your child might not understand that yet, you are wiring their brain for future healthy choices.

Children experience anxiety, which is the body's natural response to stress. Along with anxiety, many children will fear the dark, the doctor, or the death of a parent.

The most significant risk factor for childhood anxiety appears to be family related, as anxious parents model fearful behavior. Having said that, some children have an innate predisposition, no matter how their parents behave. Two red flags that a child is experiencing severe anxiety are situational avoidance and extreme distress, especially when these interfere with their daily functioning.

The best way to help them is to empathize, validate their feelings, and be honest with them. For example, if a child asks if an injection will hurt, a parent shouldn't lie. Instead, they should explain that the injection might sting, but that it will be over very quickly. If a child is scared of the dark, the parent and the child can problem-solve together. They could try a nightlight, a comfort object, or books that deal with the issue.

Whether it’s a toddler tantrum or a teenage one (the two are surprisingly similar), a defiant child is challenging for a parent to handle. Defiant behavior can be extremely triggering for certain parents, who react with anger of their own, and end up escalating the entire conflict.

Children can be defiant for numerous reasons, but it commonly stems from feeling unseen and unheard. Children need to feel respected, empowered, and autonomous within the parent-child relationship. For example, a study found that children will accept commands regarding safety, but not about personal choice.

Rather than seeing their child as the problem, parents should try to see the problem from the child's personal perspective. With defiant behavior often rooted in dysregulation and disconnection, a more positive parent-child bond can help to minimize conflict, and foster collaborative problem-solving.

While siblings will often have strong bonds and positive interactions, they can also experience competition, jealousy, and disagreements. Sibling conflict is a normal part of growing up, because each child has their own unique temperament, needs, and interests.

It’s important for parents to show love and affection to each child, spend quality time with them, and engage in activities that they enjoy. For example, one child might want to play Minecraft, while the other wants to build forts outside. Siblings also need time apart from each other. Living in the same space can feel overwhelming, and siblings benefit from having separate peer groups and hobbies.

Teaching respect, empathy and effective communication is also crucial. Not only will these skills improve the sibling bond, but they are also practical tools for adulthood.

Peer pressure and toxic friends are a common challenge for adolescents, and parents find it hard to watch. This is especially true in the following context: the presence of healthy teenage friendships is a bigger predictor of adult success than healthy parental relationships.

Unfortunately, the saying 'birds of a feather flock together' is as true of kids as it is of birds. Adolescents and teens crave belonging and acceptance. If they have an unsavory group of friends, chances are they have shared values or feelings. That isn’t what most parents want to hear, but it’s true.

When a child falls in with toxic friends, a parent should never criticize those friends, because that will only make the child feel defensive. Instead, parents can make clear statements about the specific behavior they don’t like. They can also set boundaries about the time that their child spends with friends. This often leads to defiance, but consistent limits set with respect and love make children feel valued and safe.

There is no 'right time' to talk about sex, but starting early, with an open line of communication, is a good approach to take. Parents should also try to remember that talking about sex doesn’t happen once. Instead, it is a series of age-appropriate discussions, where the child has the freedom to ask questions.

Early childhood discussions can involve using the correct anatomical names for body parts, discussing body differences, and inappropriate touching and body autonomy. The next stage could be discussing how babies are made, and the changes that occur during puberty. The teen years can be challenging with rampaging hormones, but it is a good time to discuss safe sex practices, consent, and relationships.

Uncertainty and embarrassment are to be expected, but it gets easier with time and practice.

Increasingly, psychologists are finding that some of the major predictors of adult success are grit and resilience. Grit is what helps us sustain our effort towards long-term goals, while resilience helps us bounce back after failure.

Children are born with different levels of grit and resilience, but they can be developed by cultivating a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that you can improve your abilities through effort, as opposed to a fixed mindset, which suggests that abilities are set in stone. A growth mindset can improve a child's behavior and school performance, because they believe in their abilities to achieve.

Parents can foster a growth mindset in children by boosting their confidence and helping them to develop a positive self-image. Parents can also emphasize that failure isn’t negative – instead, it is the best way to learn. Encouraging kids to fail forward, in a way that facilitates critical thinking, is crucial for developing grit.

Throughout the entire parenting process, parents should remember that their ultimate goal is to make their children happy.

Kids need autonomy and a sense of independence. They have very little control over their lives, so parents should let them make age-appropriate decisions wherever possible. That could be anything from what to wear in the morning, to their extra-curricular activities. The chance to express emotions in a positive space is another vital aspect of raising happy children. When children feel safe expressing themselves, they are more likely to grow up happy.

Love and respect are also crucial factors for raising happy kids. Children need to know that they are loved unconditionally, and that their parents value and respect them. There are a thousand ways to raise a child, but love and respect should always be the foundation. As long as parents remember this, they won't go too far wrong.