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wellbeing.","Loneliness and isolation harm mental and physical health.","Bullying affects victims, bullies, and bystanders negatively.",1,{"id":38,"data":39,"type":40,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":25},"8221a78f-6256-4cab-bb72-fcd20bf9bde5",{"type":40,"intro":41},10,[42,43],"How do strong social connections impact your chances of survival?","What surprising effect does bullying have on bystanders?",[45,64,81,99,112],{"id":46,"data":47,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":50,"reviews":51},"4c783449-a935-4627-848c-589fea710f6a",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":48,"audioMediaId":49},"“Very little of what is positive is solitary,” writes positive psychologist **Martin Seligman**. Think about it. When did you last feel joyful, laugh uncontrollably, or experience a profoundly meaningful event? Were you on your own or with those to whom you felt a connection?\n\nOther people, it seems, are our best antidote to life’s ups and downs. They keep the latter manageable while increasing the frequency of the former. After all, ask yourself, do I have someone to turn to when things are tough? And is there someone I could call when I want to share the good things in life?\n\nIf you can answer yes to both you are more likely to feel happier and live longer – it really is that significant. Having relationships, and seeking them out, is a basic psychological need – a possible legacy of an evolutionary adaptation to ensure **group survival**.\n\n![Graph](image://6812bccb-d41b-4e3b-9b79-9fe319d3502d \"A group of friends. Image: Helena Lopes via Pexels\")\n\nAfter all, according to evolutionary psychologist **David Buss**, a social group is more likely to hunt together, share their bounty, and live closely, offering protection to one another. Survival, it seems, needs good relationships.","1c3eac7f-01bc-475c-a41a-d7f2caf83fab",5,[52],{"id":53,"data":54,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"f3e408fe-39cb-4ba9-8c31-227d83e82469",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"multiChoiceQuestion":56,"multiChoiceCorrect":58,"multiChoiceIncorrect":60,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6},11,[57],"According to positive psychologist Martin Seligman, “Very little of what is positive is ...\"?",[59],"Solitary",[61,62,63],"Easy","Stressful","Simple",{"id":65,"data":66,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":69},"0fead870-e4b0-4d35-bbaf-fc18ce0ad629",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":67,"audioMediaId":68},"**Positive relationships** is the third element of Martin Seligman’s wellbeing model – PERMA. While crucial in its own right for anyone wishing for the ‘good life,’ it also benefits several other elements: fostering positive emotions, encouraging meaningful living, and reaching for goals. Better relationships mean a more fulfilling existence in every aspect.\n\n![Graph](image://f2408e21-3e0c-47be-8713-ddc96e72e89e \"Two friends eating in a kitchen. Image: Kwameghana, CC BY-SA 4.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons\")\n\nResearch also confirms that, while vital to happiness, wellbeing, and positive functioning, positive relationships also help us cope when things get tough and build resilience for when things go wrong. In fact, they are so valuable that studies have shown that good relationships can boost health and vitality, aid recovery from illness, and even help us live longer.\n\nIndeed, a 2010 mega-review of 148 studies (and a staggering **308,849** participants) confirmed that strong social relationships offer an incredible **50%** increase in the likelihood of survival – versus dying. And that’s consistent across age, sex, and initial health status.","c70466bf-26fc-4e9b-957c-57262adbffdd",[70],{"id":71,"data":72,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"5b8e985f-53d7-4c90-ba80-ba39aaa534a5",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"multiChoiceQuestion":73,"multiChoiceCorrect":75,"multiChoiceIncorrect":77,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6},[74],"How are social relationships considered an evolutionary adaptation?",[76],"More likely to hunt together, share their bounty, and live closely, offering protection to one another",[78,79,80],"More likely to compete for resources, leading to internal conflict and reduced survival rates"," More likely to isolate individuals, making them more vulnerable to predators","More likely to disperse widely, reducing the chances of cooperative behavior and mutual support.",{"id":82,"data":83,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":87},"b168d8a6-7f2b-42d6-9e8e-fdc9d2001519",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":84,"audioMediaId":85},"Over the last 5 decades, psychological research has consistently reported the same finding. Those with close ties to friends and family report more happiness, increased well-being, and lower levels of mental illness – particularly depression.\n\n![Graph](image://9f47cdfe-f352-44b5-86e3-e90976232932 \"Psychologist, Daniel Kahneman. Image: nrkbeta, CC BY-SA 2.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons\")\n\nIn 2004, **Daniel Kahneman** conducted an innovative study that sampled people's happiness at various points throughout the day. When buzzed, they would score how happy they were and record who they were with and what they were doing. The results confirm the theory – we experience more positive emotions when together.\n\nWe may all wish for a win on the lottery, but our numbers have truly come up if we have high-quality relationships. While a lack of money can be a source of distress, more than enough does not guarantee happiness – while social connections do.\n\nWhen next picking your lottery numbers, stop and consider whether you are paying sufficient attention to those special in your life.","a24d94f7-f23b-40c0-a665-f943d0bc3167",4,[88],{"id":89,"data":90,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"e2227eaf-2701-4f2b-a60a-2915df84fb51",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"multiChoiceQuestion":91,"multiChoiceCorrect":93,"multiChoiceIncorrect":95,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6},[92],"According to a review of over 150 studies and over 300,000 participants, what is the impact of strong social relationships on survival – versus dying?",[94],"Increased by 50%",[96,97,98],"Decreased by 30%","Increased by 30%","Increased by 15%",{"id":100,"data":101,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":104},"88c84fd8-a180-4973-8b51-b4962c11ba8d",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":102,"audioMediaId":103},"Being lonely, socially isolated, or excluded from others has a devastating effect on individuals, organizations, and communities. So much so that, even before the arrival of positive psychology, therapists encouraged their clients to form lasting, fulfilling relationships.\n\n![Graph](image://0c30b1f0-a83b-4522-b416-7e13315253bd \"Person sitting alone on a bench. Image: Jeswin Thomas via Pexels\")\n\nSo, with each of us spurred on to spend time forming close connections with others, what do we know of what defines *positive* relationships? Intriguingly, psychology tells us that relationships are more than the sum of their interactions. Their power doesn’t just reside in the individuals involved but forms out of the patterns and rhythms of connections between them.\n\nA good relationship is also not simply captured in a single moment; they require **longevity** and an **ongoing mutual influence**. And though a relationship itself is invisible, we can identify and recognize its effects.\n\nAfter all, we are social creatures. According to evolutionary psychologists, the need to satisfy our social needs is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. Strong connections help maintain our physical and mental well-being and ensure survival at times of upheaval.","73c0f00b-7977-4d0b-8c9e-d896b6004e7b",[105],{"id":106,"data":107,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"ce568404-f206-403d-a933-c8c66395910a",{"type":55,"reviewType":36,"spacingBehaviour":36,"activeRecallQuestion":108,"activeRecallAnswers":110},[109],"According to Daniel Kahneman's study, when are people the most likely to feel happy?",[111],"When they are with other people",{"id":113,"data":114,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":117},"83719eee-e06e-45c0-b0da-cded8264ba7d",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":115,"audioMediaId":116},"Negative relationships can profoundly affect our well-being. They are a primary cause of stress, anguish, and even trauma. They can even impact life expectancy – potentially cutting lives short.\n\nBullying is a prime example. It’s an extremely negative relationship and a type of intimidation that causes verbal or physical harm to another and can lead to feelings of depression and loneliness.\n\nYet a 2019 study also found that, surprisingly, it’s not only the **victims** that suffer; it’s even the **bullies** themselves and **bystanders** – it seems anyone involved can experience extreme stress and anxiety. It's a lose-lose situation.\n\n![Graph](image://8047bf62-d6b5-4b1c-aaeb-256820b9b8a7 \"A man covering his face in his hands, with hostile colleagues behind. Image: Yan Krukau via Pexels\")\n\nWhile we typically think of bullying at school, it also occurs in the workplace. And yet, as with educational institutions, we can stop it by implementing a no-bullying mandate and a culture of standing up for the abused. Indeed, a recent study found that, **if an organization is seen to value fairness**, observers are much more likely to step in and challenge inappropriate behavior.","9fb3cdc8-5831-440b-82b0-30fc1cf2bd4e",[118],{"id":119,"data":120,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"28416c5c-3fb2-4501-8709-56ec6f1ca08f",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"multiChoiceQuestion":121,"multiChoiceCorrect":123,"multiChoiceIncorrect":125,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6},[122],"What is typically the impact of implementing a no-bullying mandate and a culture of standing up for the abused?",[124],"Observers are much more likely to step in and challenge inappropriate behavior",[126,127,128],"Bystanders are less likely to notice inappropriate behavior"," Victims are more likely to remain silent about their experiences"," Bullies are more likely to escalate their behavior",{"id":130,"data":131,"type":25,"version":20,"maxContentLevel":19,"summaryPage":133,"introPage":141,"pages":147},"c7abb8cb-4930-4ba7-b0aa-ad86651f44a7",{"type":25,"title":132},"Understanding Social Needs",{"id":134,"data":135,"type":19,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":36},"20168d13-89f3-4370-a624-9e622e0c1d33",{"type":19,"summary":136},[137,138,139,140],"Intimacy fulfills our need to share deep thoughts and feelings.","Companionship involves spending time and engaging in activities with others.","Attachment styles from childhood shape our adult relationships.","Love boosts happiness and can improve life expectancy.",{"id":142,"data":143,"type":40,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":25},"a489ef36-8dd6-44de-bb34-ecbc17e9c422",{"type":40,"intro":144},[145,146],"What are the five categories of social need?","How does attachment theory explain our adult relationships?",[148,165,210,235],{"id":149,"data":150,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":153},"c64ccd1d-a072-4a20-ac0c-bceae367873d",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":151,"audioMediaId":152},"Psychologists describe relationships as involving up to **5** categories of **social need** – they help us understand why we build and maintain relationships. The first is **intimacy.**\n\nWe have a profound desire to have people around us with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Next, we have **companionship,** the wish to spend time with others and engage in shared activities.\n\nThen **physical needs,** ranging from holding hands to having sex, and **security** – stability is vital, as is the ability to rely on others for support. Finally, and equally importantly, **emotional involvement.** We seek out emotional engagement with others, mutually influencing our own and their emotional experiences and needs.\n\n![Graph](image://2ac2aaba-d1a2-4446-8e16-b5396e879d3f \"A couple holding hands. Image: Sơn Bờm via Pexels\")","577c3e10-c97f-44ab-a17a-38aa07131d50",[154],{"id":155,"data":156,"type":55,"version":25,"maxContentLevel":19},"50119a84-063b-42a4-9c58-0db2754f7cef",{"type":55,"reviewType":36,"spacingBehaviour":36,"activeRecallQuestion":157,"activeRecallAnswers":159},[158],"What are the 5 categories of 'social need'?",[160,161,162,163,164],"Intimacy","Physical needs","Security","Emotional involvement","Companionship",{"id":166,"data":167,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":170},"147e3b1b-c8f0-4058-9454-6235e1916966",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":168,"audioMediaId":169},"Fulfilling social needs does not have to be as complicated or well-thought-out as it sounds. Our need to form and maintain relationships is natural, an innate drive to meet our social needs through creating bonds with others.\n\nThe bonds we form in our childhood profoundly impact our adult relationships. Psychologists call this process **attachment theory.** It explains how our past affects our present relationships based on several different *styles.*\n\n![Graph](image://6015c4ff-244f-4885-9a25-cb2d01eddc42 \"Woman carrying her child. Image: Steve Evans, CC BY 2.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons\")\n\nFor example, a **secure attachment style** describes individuals who find it easy to form close bonds with others – they can be relied upon and are equally comfortable depending on others.","e467b87d-c3b9-456c-811a-cafd7ea2fd21",[171,191],{"id":172,"data":173,"type":55,"version":25,"maxContentLevel":19},"34c1afa4-c088-4b70-8a91-563a76af4577",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"collapsingSiblings":174,"multiChoiceQuestion":178,"multiChoiceCorrect":180,"multiChoiceIncorrect":182,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6,"matchPairsQuestion":186,"matchPairsPairs":188},[175,176,177],"7c601b60-01de-4248-93e5-4825626167d6","e9d35fe2-76ab-48da-a591-934938196ba7","044a85c7-f148-48e5-85ad-fb8a55e5afe4",[179],"Which of the following applies to attachment theory?",[181],"Explains how past affects present relationships",[183,184,185],"Describes the effects of positive emotions","Assists empathy and forgiveness","Passive response to repeated, unavoidable negative situations",[187],"Match the pairs below:",[189],{"left":190,"right":181,"direction":19},"Attachment theory",{"id":192,"data":193,"type":55,"version":25,"maxContentLevel":19},"5ef2cab7-63a9-47b2-a511-536e89af9a83",{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"collapsingSiblings":194,"multiChoiceQuestion":198,"multiChoiceCorrect":200,"multiChoiceIncorrect":202,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6,"matchPairsQuestion":206,"matchPairsPairs":207},[195,196,197],"7566ed56-bc94-477c-8b65-2bc67f698ed1","55cebaa6-3f8c-4383-bb42-f7c68397dcfb","abcee2ad-2087-4cf6-b9ff-9b6c1da197de",[199],"Which of the following best applies to the secure attachment style?",[201],"Easy to form close bonds, reliable, comfortable depending on others",[203,204,205],"Fear or avoidance of intimacy","Positive feedback loops that enhance emotional wellbeing","Balances skills against challenges, seeks control over activities",[187],[208],{"left":209,"right":201,"direction":19},"Secure attachment style",{"id":211,"data":212,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":50,"reviews":215},"1f888bd3-e66f-4b22-9f91-828ee79dbb32",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":213,"audioMediaId":214},"Less helpfully, we may also adopt an **avoidant attachment style**: when we fear or avoid intimacy and find ourselves uncomfortable relying on others or being depended upon.\n\nAnd, while it's important to note that the attachment styles we form early on can endure, thankfully, they aren’t necessarily fixed.\n\nA 2021 long-term study of over 4,000 people found that impactful life events, such as changing jobs and starting relationships, can help us form new attachment styles.\n\nIndeed, with the proper support, we can transform unhelpful relationship styles into ones that enable positive, healthy relationships to flourish.","e4693f1c-38cb-4ae3-97ff-20d3b22da382",[216,223],{"id":217,"data":218,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"cd2f4a87-2642-4ff7-ae73-9013801cfa81",{"type":55,"reviewType":36,"spacingBehaviour":36,"activeRecallQuestion":219,"activeRecallAnswers":221},[220],"According to psychologists, what can help us form new attachment styles?",[222],"Impactful life events (eg. changing jobs, starting a new relationship)",{"id":195,"data":224,"type":55,"version":86,"maxContentLevel":19},{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"collapsingSiblings":225,"multiChoiceQuestion":226,"multiChoiceCorrect":228,"multiChoiceIncorrect":230,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6,"matchPairsQuestion":231,"matchPairsPairs":232},[192,196,197],[227],"Which of the following best describes the avoidant attachment style?",[229],"A fear or avoidance of intimacy",[201,204,205],[187],[233],{"left":234,"right":229,"direction":19},"Avoidant attachment style",{"id":236,"data":237,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":240},"4a167bfe-4338-4d1f-b073-1467ea5563a4",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":238,"audioMediaId":239},"Perhaps the most potent emotional response is that of **love**. It is strongest when positive emotions are shared, there is an underlying motivation to care for one another, and people's behaviors and biochemistry are synched.\n\nLove can vary in intensity and change over time, often ranging from liking to infatuation – or, more often, somewhere between. Such feelings are often moderated by what we are looking for in a partner and the phase of our life in which we find ourselves. Are we looking for support, trust, and understanding?\n\n![Graph](image://c5f167b7-e726-4308-81dc-92084b2a289d \"Couple hugging in an airport. Image: Jürg Stuker, CC BY-SA 3.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons\")\n\nDo we wish for someone attractive, sexy, and sociable? Or are we secretly looking toward someone for their socioeconomic status or financial rewards? While motives may not always be obvious, it's clear romantic bonds can boost happiness and improve wellbeing.\n\nA 2016 study reported that single individuals experienced reduced life satisfaction while partnered individuals exhibited lower romantic loneliness. And a vast 2020 study, including over 164,000 subjects, identified that **married persons have lower mortality and longer life expectancy**.","1a1bfc87-4f08-426d-8c16-0b6adfbdb1bf",[241],{"id":242,"data":243,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"ed79a234-d3b4-4a9b-ac87-cfd7e4b6a8f5",{"type":55,"reviewType":25,"spacingBehaviour":36,"binaryQuestion":244,"binaryCorrect":246,"binaryIncorrect":248},[245],"What is the life expectancy of married couples in comparison to unmarried couples?",[247],"Higher",[249],"Lower",{"id":251,"data":252,"type":25,"version":20,"maxContentLevel":19,"summaryPage":254,"introPage":262,"pages":268},"96c2ae5b-ada2-4fc4-a7bc-d9870821cf06",{"type":25,"title":253},"Positive Interventions in Relationships",{"id":255,"data":256,"type":19,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":36},"ce295fc9-b7a1-49fb-8760-91d0a5b7d91f",{"type":19,"summary":257},[258,259,260,261],"Random acts of kindness boost happiness and well-being.","Perform 5 genuine acts of kindness weekly without expecting anything.","Forgiveness exercises help rebuild and strengthen relationships.","Perspective-taking enhances empathy and promotes forgiveness.",{"id":263,"data":264,"type":40,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":25},"f7a94287-67c4-4196-9ca1-ac39d155f66e",{"type":40,"intro":265},[266,267],"What are five examples of random acts of kindness you could do this week?","How does perspective-taking help in rebuilding relationships after conflict?",[269,274,287],{"id":270,"data":271,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86},"11acfe28-00a3-4dc5-8254-58dba7fdce9b",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":272,"audioMediaId":273},"Positive psychologists use several well-validated interventions to improve relationships – at work, with friends, or in the family. So, let’s take a look at one.\n\nThe **Random Acts of Kindness** exercise is a positive psychological intervention; it increases people’s sense of well-being and degree of happiness. And it’s simple.\n\nEach week, commit to brightening other people’s lives in the days ahead. Challenge yourself to perform **5** random acts of kindness – big or small, it doesn't matter.\n\nIt could be stopping to help a stranger with directions, offering support to a loved one going through a tough time, or donating blood. They are all-powerful.\n\n![Graph](image://4927eb1c-687a-4038-9b74-4b9d03205d14 \"Two strangers shaking hands. Image: Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.\")","1f56e7b9-76df-48fd-9cab-cf0c7d36b5a3",{"id":275,"data":276,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":279},"bf3e51bb-d191-45d4-907a-d63e7bbda45b",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":277,"audioMediaId":278},"The only rule is that they must be genuine **without expecting anything in return**. After all, *giving* is already a win-win situation, benefiting both the giver and the recipient and increasing all-round happiness.\n\n![Graph](image://2e2318bf-b36b-4891-aee3-f5b2fc6908cc \"Man gifting a present. Image: © Raimond Spekking\")\n\nMost positive psychology interventions that promote building and maintaining relationships work by boosting compassion, gratitude, empathy, and forgiveness.\n\nYet, forgiveness is not easy, even when relationships demand it – or we risk their breakdown. So, why not give the following exercise a try to get some practice in.","0c3a56b4-a243-47fe-8aba-b07ff00297c5",[280],{"id":281,"data":282,"type":55,"version":36,"maxContentLevel":19},"7b9bc3c0-84c4-4f9a-81f1-90c86271283f",{"type":55,"reviewType":36,"spacingBehaviour":36,"activeRecallQuestion":283,"activeRecallAnswers":285},[284],"What is one important rule when you set out to perform random acts of kindness?",[286],"That you seek nothing in return",{"id":288,"data":289,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":27,"reviews":292},"d3c0d5eb-d9b4-4f28-aab6-a5d703054635",{"type":36,"contentRole":25,"markdownContent":290,"audioMediaId":291},"Think of someone who has upset or wronged you. Recall the specific event, closing your eyes and visualizing what happened – playing it through from your perspective and then theirs.\n\nImagine it running live. What is the other person feeling, and how could events, thoughts, and beliefs have led to their behavior?\n\nCommit to forgiveness and hold on to that emotion, playing the scene through a few more times. When ready, open your eyes.\n\nPerspective-taking has been shown to assist empathy and forgiveness and rebuild and strengthen relationships, particularly after conflict.","0e50884f-e611-487e-a2e5-5ac6ec463e62",[293],{"id":176,"data":294,"type":55,"version":19,"maxContentLevel":19},{"type":55,"reviewType":19,"spacingBehaviour":36,"collapsingSiblings":295,"multiChoiceQuestion":296,"multiChoiceCorrect":298,"multiChoiceIncorrect":300,"multiChoiceMultiSelect":6,"multiChoiceRevealAnswerOption":6,"matchPairsQuestion":304,"matchPairsPairs":305},[172,175,177],[297],"Which of the following applies to perspective-taking?",[299],"It's shown to assist empathy and forgiveness",[301,302,303],"It explains how the past affects present relationships","It describes the effects of positive emotions","It's a passive response to repeated negative situations",[187],[306],{"left":307,"right":308,"direction":19},"Perspective-taking","Assists empathy and forgiveness.",[310,589,802],{"id":23,"data":24,"type":25,"version":27,"maxContentLevel":19,"summaryPage":28,"introPage":37,"pages":311},[312,377,427,469,526],{"id":46,"data":47,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":50,"reviews":51,"parsed":313},{"data":314,"body":317,"toc":375},{"title":315,"description":316},"","“Very little of what is positive is solitary,” writes positive psychologist Martin Seligman. Think about it. When did you last feel joyful, laugh uncontrollably, or experience a profoundly meaningful event? Were you on your own or with those to whom you felt a connection?",{"type":318,"children":319},"root",[320,336,341,353,363],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":323,"children":324},"element","p",{},[325,328,334],{"type":326,"value":327},"text","“Very little of what is positive is solitary,” writes positive psychologist ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":330,"children":331},"strong",{},[332],{"type":326,"value":333},"Martin Seligman",{"type":326,"value":335},". Think about it. When did you last feel joyful, laugh uncontrollably, or experience a profoundly meaningful event? Were you on your own or with those to whom you felt a connection?",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":337,"children":338},{},[339],{"type":326,"value":340},"Other people, it seems, are our best antidote to life’s ups and downs. They keep the latter manageable while increasing the frequency of the former. After all, ask yourself, do I have someone to turn to when things are tough? And is there someone I could call when I want to share the good things in life?",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":342,"children":343},{},[344,346,351],{"type":326,"value":345},"If you can answer yes to both you are more likely to feel happier and live longer – it really is that significant. Having relationships, and seeking them out, is a basic psychological need – a possible legacy of an evolutionary adaptation to ensure ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":347,"children":348},{},[349],{"type":326,"value":350},"group survival",{"type":326,"value":352},".",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":354,"children":355},{},[356],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":358,"children":362},"img",{"alt":359,"src":360,"title":361},"Graph","image://6812bccb-d41b-4e3b-9b79-9fe319d3502d","A group of friends. Image: Helena Lopes via Pexels",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":364,"children":365},{},[366,368,373],{"type":326,"value":367},"After all, according to evolutionary psychologist ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":369,"children":370},{},[371],{"type":326,"value":372},"David Buss",{"type":326,"value":374},", a social group is more likely to hunt together, share their bounty, and live closely, offering protection to one another. Survival, it seems, needs good relationships.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":376},[],{"id":65,"data":66,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":69,"parsed":378},{"data":379,"body":381,"toc":425},{"title":315,"description":380},"Positive relationships is the third element of Martin Seligman’s wellbeing model – PERMA. While crucial in its own right for anyone wishing for the ‘good life,’ it also benefits several other elements: fostering positive emotions, encouraging meaningful living, and reaching for goals. Better relationships mean a more fulfilling existence in every aspect.",{"type":318,"children":382},[383,393,401,406],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":384,"children":385},{},[386,391],{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":387,"children":388},{},[389],{"type":326,"value":390},"Positive relationships",{"type":326,"value":392}," is the third element of Martin Seligman’s wellbeing model – PERMA. While crucial in its own right for anyone wishing for the ‘good life,’ it also benefits several other elements: fostering positive emotions, encouraging meaningful living, and reaching for goals. Better relationships mean a more fulfilling existence in every aspect.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":394,"children":395},{},[396],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":397,"children":400},{"alt":359,"src":398,"title":399},"image://f2408e21-3e0c-47be-8713-ddc96e72e89e","Two friends eating in a kitchen. Image: Kwameghana, CC BY-SA 4.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":402,"children":403},{},[404],{"type":326,"value":405},"Research also confirms that, while vital to happiness, wellbeing, and positive functioning, positive relationships also help us cope when things get tough and build resilience for when things go wrong. In fact, they are so valuable that studies have shown that good relationships can boost health and vitality, aid recovery from illness, and even help us live longer.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":407,"children":408},{},[409,411,416,418,423],{"type":326,"value":410},"Indeed, a 2010 mega-review of 148 studies (and a staggering ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":412,"children":413},{},[414],{"type":326,"value":415},"308,849",{"type":326,"value":417}," participants) confirmed that strong social relationships offer an incredible ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":419,"children":420},{},[421],{"type":326,"value":422},"50%",{"type":326,"value":424}," increase in the likelihood of survival – versus dying. And that’s consistent across age, sex, and initial health status.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":426},[],{"id":82,"data":83,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":87,"parsed":428},{"data":429,"body":431,"toc":467},{"title":315,"description":430},"Over the last 5 decades, psychological research has consistently reported the same finding. Those with close ties to friends and family report more happiness, increased well-being, and lower levels of mental illness – particularly depression.",{"type":318,"children":432},[433,437,445,457,462],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":434,"children":435},{},[436],{"type":326,"value":430},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":438,"children":439},{},[440],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":441,"children":444},{"alt":359,"src":442,"title":443},"image://9f47cdfe-f352-44b5-86e3-e90976232932","Psychologist, Daniel Kahneman. Image: nrkbeta, CC BY-SA 2.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":446,"children":447},{},[448,450,455],{"type":326,"value":449},"In 2004, ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":451,"children":452},{},[453],{"type":326,"value":454},"Daniel Kahneman",{"type":326,"value":456}," conducted an innovative study that sampled people's happiness at various points throughout the day. When buzzed, they would score how happy they were and record who they were with and what they were doing. The results confirm the theory – we experience more positive emotions when together.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":458,"children":459},{},[460],{"type":326,"value":461},"We may all wish for a win on the lottery, but our numbers have truly come up if we have high-quality relationships. While a lack of money can be a source of distress, more than enough does not guarantee happiness – while social connections do.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":463,"children":464},{},[465],{"type":326,"value":466},"When next picking your lottery numbers, stop and consider whether you are paying sufficient attention to those special in your life.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":468},[],{"id":100,"data":101,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":104,"parsed":470},{"data":471,"body":473,"toc":524},{"title":315,"description":472},"Being lonely, socially isolated, or excluded from others has a devastating effect on individuals, organizations, and communities. So much so that, even before the arrival of positive psychology, therapists encouraged their clients to form lasting, fulfilling relationships.",{"type":318,"children":474},[475,479,487,500,519],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":476,"children":477},{},[478],{"type":326,"value":472},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":480,"children":481},{},[482],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":483,"children":486},{"alt":359,"src":484,"title":485},"image://0c30b1f0-a83b-4522-b416-7e13315253bd","Person sitting alone on a bench. Image: Jeswin Thomas via Pexels",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":488,"children":489},{},[490,492,498],{"type":326,"value":491},"So, with each of us spurred on to spend time forming close connections with others, what do we know of what defines ",{"type":321,"tag":493,"props":494,"children":495},"em",{},[496],{"type":326,"value":497},"positive",{"type":326,"value":499}," relationships? Intriguingly, psychology tells us that relationships are more than the sum of their interactions. Their power doesn’t just reside in the individuals involved but forms out of the patterns and rhythms of connections between them.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":501,"children":502},{},[503,505,510,512,517],{"type":326,"value":504},"A good relationship is also not simply captured in a single moment; they require ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":506,"children":507},{},[508],{"type":326,"value":509},"longevity",{"type":326,"value":511}," and an ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":513,"children":514},{},[515],{"type":326,"value":516},"ongoing mutual influence",{"type":326,"value":518},". And though a relationship itself is invisible, we can identify and recognize its effects.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":520,"children":521},{},[522],{"type":326,"value":523},"After all, we are social creatures. According to evolutionary psychologists, the need to satisfy our social needs is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. Strong connections help maintain our physical and mental well-being and ensure survival at times of upheaval.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":525},[],{"id":113,"data":114,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":117,"parsed":527},{"data":528,"body":530,"toc":587},{"title":315,"description":529},"Negative relationships can profoundly affect our well-being. They are a primary cause of stress, anguish, and even trauma. They can even impact life expectancy – potentially cutting lives short.",{"type":318,"children":531},[532,536,541,567,575],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":533,"children":534},{},[535],{"type":326,"value":529},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":537,"children":538},{},[539],{"type":326,"value":540},"Bullying is a prime example. It’s an extremely negative relationship and a type of intimidation that causes verbal or physical harm to another and can lead to feelings of depression and loneliness.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":542,"children":543},{},[544,546,551,553,558,560,565],{"type":326,"value":545},"Yet a 2019 study also found that, surprisingly, it’s not only the ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":547,"children":548},{},[549],{"type":326,"value":550},"victims",{"type":326,"value":552}," that suffer; it’s even the ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":554,"children":555},{},[556],{"type":326,"value":557},"bullies",{"type":326,"value":559}," themselves and ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":561,"children":562},{},[563],{"type":326,"value":564},"bystanders",{"type":326,"value":566}," – it seems anyone involved can experience extreme stress and anxiety. It's a lose-lose situation.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":568,"children":569},{},[570],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":571,"children":574},{"alt":359,"src":572,"title":573},"image://8047bf62-d6b5-4b1c-aaeb-256820b9b8a7","A man covering his face in his hands, with hostile colleagues behind. Image: Yan Krukau via Pexels",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":576,"children":577},{},[578,580,585],{"type":326,"value":579},"While we typically think of bullying at school, it also occurs in the workplace. And yet, as with educational institutions, we can stop it by implementing a no-bullying mandate and a culture of standing up for the abused. Indeed, a recent study found that, ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":581,"children":582},{},[583],{"type":326,"value":584},"if an organization is seen to value fairness",{"type":326,"value":586},", observers are much more likely to step in and challenge inappropriate behavior.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":588},[],{"id":130,"data":131,"type":25,"version":20,"maxContentLevel":19,"summaryPage":133,"introPage":141,"pages":590},[591,669,718,753],{"id":149,"data":150,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":153,"parsed":592},{"data":593,"body":595,"toc":667},{"title":315,"description":594},"Psychologists describe relationships as involving up to 5 categories of social need – they help us understand why we build and maintain relationships. The first is intimacy.",{"type":318,"children":596},[597,621,633,659],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":598,"children":599},{},[600,602,607,609,614,616],{"type":326,"value":601},"Psychologists describe relationships as involving up to ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":603,"children":604},{},[605],{"type":326,"value":606},"5",{"type":326,"value":608}," categories of ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":610,"children":611},{},[612],{"type":326,"value":613},"social need",{"type":326,"value":615}," – they help us understand why we build and maintain relationships. The first is ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":617,"children":618},{},[619],{"type":326,"value":620},"intimacy.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":622,"children":623},{},[624,626,631],{"type":326,"value":625},"We have a profound desire to have people around us with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Next, we have ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":627,"children":628},{},[629],{"type":326,"value":630},"companionship,",{"type":326,"value":632}," the wish to spend time with others and engage in shared activities.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":634,"children":635},{},[636,638,643,645,650,652,657],{"type":326,"value":637},"Then ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":639,"children":640},{},[641],{"type":326,"value":642},"physical needs,",{"type":326,"value":644}," ranging from holding hands to having sex, and ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":646,"children":647},{},[648],{"type":326,"value":649},"security",{"type":326,"value":651}," – stability is vital, as is the ability to rely on others for support. Finally, and equally importantly, ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":653,"children":654},{},[655],{"type":326,"value":656},"emotional involvement.",{"type":326,"value":658}," We seek out emotional engagement with others, mutually influencing our own and their emotional experiences and needs.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":660,"children":661},{},[662],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":663,"children":666},{"alt":359,"src":664,"title":665},"image://2ac2aaba-d1a2-4446-8e16-b5396e879d3f","A couple holding hands. Image: Sơn Bờm via Pexels",[],{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":668},[],{"id":166,"data":167,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"reviews":170,"parsed":670},{"data":671,"body":673,"toc":716},{"title":315,"description":672},"Fulfilling social needs does not have to be as complicated or well-thought-out as it sounds. Our need to form and maintain relationships is natural, an innate drive to meet our social needs through creating bonds with others.",{"type":318,"children":674},[675,679,696,704],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":676,"children":677},{},[678],{"type":326,"value":672},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":680,"children":681},{},[682,684,689,691],{"type":326,"value":683},"The bonds we form in our childhood profoundly impact our adult relationships. Psychologists call this process ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":685,"children":686},{},[687],{"type":326,"value":688},"attachment theory.",{"type":326,"value":690}," It explains how our past affects our present relationships based on several different ",{"type":321,"tag":493,"props":692,"children":693},{},[694],{"type":326,"value":695},"styles.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":697,"children":698},{},[699],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":700,"children":703},{"alt":359,"src":701,"title":702},"image://6015c4ff-244f-4885-9a25-cb2d01eddc42","Woman carrying her child. Image: Steve Evans, CC BY 2.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":705,"children":706},{},[707,709,714],{"type":326,"value":708},"For example, a ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":710,"children":711},{},[712],{"type":326,"value":713},"secure attachment style",{"type":326,"value":715}," describes individuals who find it easy to form close bonds with others – they can be relied upon and are equally comfortable depending on others.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":717},[],{"id":211,"data":212,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":50,"reviews":215,"parsed":719},{"data":720,"body":722,"toc":751},{"title":315,"description":721},"Less helpfully, we may also adopt an avoidant attachment style: when we fear or avoid intimacy and find ourselves uncomfortable relying on others or being depended upon.",{"type":318,"children":723},[724,736,741,746],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":725,"children":726},{},[727,729,734],{"type":326,"value":728},"Less helpfully, we may also adopt an ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":730,"children":731},{},[732],{"type":326,"value":733},"avoidant attachment style",{"type":326,"value":735},": when we fear or avoid intimacy and find ourselves uncomfortable relying on others or being depended upon.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":737,"children":738},{},[739],{"type":326,"value":740},"And, while it's important to note that the attachment styles we form early on can endure, thankfully, they aren’t necessarily fixed.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":742,"children":743},{},[744],{"type":326,"value":745},"A 2021 long-term study of over 4,000 people found that impactful life events, such as changing jobs and starting relationships, can help us form new attachment styles.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":747,"children":748},{},[749],{"type":326,"value":750},"Indeed, with the proper support, we can transform unhelpful relationship styles into ones that enable positive, healthy relationships to flourish.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":752},[],{"id":236,"data":237,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":240,"parsed":754},{"data":755,"body":757,"toc":800},{"title":315,"description":756},"Perhaps the most potent emotional response is that of love. It is strongest when positive emotions are shared, there is an underlying motivation to care for one another, and people's behaviors and biochemistry are synched.",{"type":318,"children":758},[759,771,776,784,789],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":760,"children":761},{},[762,764,769],{"type":326,"value":763},"Perhaps the most potent emotional response is that of ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":765,"children":766},{},[767],{"type":326,"value":768},"love",{"type":326,"value":770},". It is strongest when positive emotions are shared, there is an underlying motivation to care for one another, and people's behaviors and biochemistry are synched.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":772,"children":773},{},[774],{"type":326,"value":775},"Love can vary in intensity and change over time, often ranging from liking to infatuation – or, more often, somewhere between. Such feelings are often moderated by what we are looking for in a partner and the phase of our life in which we find ourselves. Are we looking for support, trust, and understanding?",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":777,"children":778},{},[779],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":780,"children":783},{"alt":359,"src":781,"title":782},"image://c5f167b7-e726-4308-81dc-92084b2a289d","Couple hugging in an airport. Image: Jürg Stuker, CC BY-SA 3.0 \u003Chttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":785,"children":786},{},[787],{"type":326,"value":788},"Do we wish for someone attractive, sexy, and sociable? Or are we secretly looking toward someone for their socioeconomic status or financial rewards? While motives may not always be obvious, it's clear romantic bonds can boost happiness and improve wellbeing.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":790,"children":791},{},[792,794,799],{"type":326,"value":793},"A 2016 study reported that single individuals experienced reduced life satisfaction while partnered individuals exhibited lower romantic loneliness. And a vast 2020 study, including over 164,000 subjects, identified that ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":795,"children":796},{},[797],{"type":326,"value":798},"married persons have lower mortality and longer life expectancy",{"type":326,"value":352},{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":801},[],{"id":251,"data":252,"type":25,"version":20,"maxContentLevel":19,"summaryPage":254,"introPage":262,"pages":803},[804,852,897],{"id":270,"data":271,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":86,"parsed":805},{"data":806,"body":808,"toc":850},{"title":315,"description":807},"Positive psychologists use several well-validated interventions to improve relationships – at work, with friends, or in the family. So, let’s take a look at one.",{"type":318,"children":809},[810,814,826,837,842],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":811,"children":812},{},[813],{"type":326,"value":807},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":815,"children":816},{},[817,819,824],{"type":326,"value":818},"The ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":820,"children":821},{},[822],{"type":326,"value":823},"Random Acts of Kindness",{"type":326,"value":825}," exercise is a positive psychological intervention; it increases people’s sense of well-being and degree of happiness. And it’s simple.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":827,"children":828},{},[829,831,835],{"type":326,"value":830},"Each week, commit to brightening other people’s lives in the days ahead. Challenge yourself to perform ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":832,"children":833},{},[834],{"type":326,"value":606},{"type":326,"value":836}," random acts of kindness – big or small, it doesn't matter.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":838,"children":839},{},[840],{"type":326,"value":841},"It could be stopping to help a stranger with directions, offering support to a loved one going through a tough time, or donating blood. They are all-powerful.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":843,"children":844},{},[845],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":846,"children":849},{"alt":359,"src":847,"title":848},"image://4927eb1c-687a-4038-9b74-4b9d03205d14","Two strangers shaking hands. Image: Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.",[],{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":851},[],{"id":275,"data":276,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":19,"reviews":279,"parsed":853},{"data":854,"body":856,"toc":895},{"title":315,"description":855},"The only rule is that they must be genuine without expecting anything in return. After all, giving is already a win-win situation, benefiting both the giver and the recipient and increasing all-round happiness.",{"type":318,"children":857},[858,877,885,890],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":859,"children":860},{},[861,863,868,870,875],{"type":326,"value":862},"The only rule is that they must be genuine ",{"type":321,"tag":329,"props":864,"children":865},{},[866],{"type":326,"value":867},"without expecting anything in return",{"type":326,"value":869},". After all, ",{"type":321,"tag":493,"props":871,"children":872},{},[873],{"type":326,"value":874},"giving",{"type":326,"value":876}," is already a win-win situation, benefiting both the giver and the recipient and increasing all-round happiness.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":878,"children":879},{},[880],{"type":321,"tag":357,"props":881,"children":884},{"alt":359,"src":882,"title":883},"image://2e2318bf-b36b-4891-aee3-f5b2fc6908cc","Man gifting a present. Image: © Raimond Spekking",[],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":886,"children":887},{},[888],{"type":326,"value":889},"Most positive psychology interventions that promote building and maintaining relationships work by boosting compassion, gratitude, empathy, and forgiveness.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":891,"children":892},{},[893],{"type":326,"value":894},"Yet, forgiveness is not easy, even when relationships demand it – or we risk their breakdown. So, why not give the following exercise a try to get some practice in.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":896},[],{"id":288,"data":289,"type":36,"maxContentLevel":19,"version":27,"reviews":292,"parsed":898},{"data":899,"body":901,"toc":922},{"title":315,"description":900},"Think of someone who has upset or wronged you. Recall the specific event, closing your eyes and visualizing what happened – playing it through from your perspective and then theirs.",{"type":318,"children":902},[903,907,912,917],{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":904,"children":905},{},[906],{"type":326,"value":900},{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":908,"children":909},{},[910],{"type":326,"value":911},"Imagine it running live. What is the other person feeling, and how could events, thoughts, and beliefs have led to their behavior?",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":913,"children":914},{},[915],{"type":326,"value":916},"Commit to forgiveness and hold on to that emotion, playing the scene through a few more times. When ready, open your eyes.",{"type":321,"tag":322,"props":918,"children":919},{},[920],{"type":326,"value":921},"Perspective-taking has been shown to assist empathy and forgiveness and rebuild and strengthen relationships, particularly after conflict.",{"title":315,"searchDepth":25,"depth":25,"links":923},[],{"left":4,"top":4,"width":925,"height":925,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":926},24,"\u003Cpath fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\" d=\"m9 18l6-6l-6-6\"/>",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":925,"height":925,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":928},"\u003Cpath fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\" d=\"M4 5h16M4 12h16M4 19h16\"/>",1778228296504]